Damn that Guy!
by Sir sleeps-a-lot
Summary: Keima doesn't need to pretend outside his conquests. In fact, he can be himself all he wants. Unfortunately, him being himself doesn't give him brownie points for the girls, but it's still hilarious. This is about the humourous, day to day interactions him and the girls share. It might be a bit OOC, but I tried. Enjoy!
1. Chihiro Kosaka

**Hi guys. It's Sir-Sleeps A Lot, after a really long time. I've finally gotten down to writing a new fanfiction. As for my other stories... God only knows when I'll get down to updating them. Bear with me. Once I find some inspiration, I'll hopefully get down to those.**

**In any case, this is my first The World God only Knows fanfiction, which is based on all the beautiful girls her conquers, and how Keima annoys the hell out of them. Please enjoy these ficlets. Don't worry if your favourite girl isn't here yet. She'll be around soon enough.**

**So here is Chihiro's part. After the anime, I couldn't really deal with the feels, so that is why she ended up being the heroine of the first chapter.**

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Chihiro was bored out of her mind. It was Maths class, so half the class was asleep at their desks and the other half were on their phones. The teacher had long since given up on them, and was now just droning about some equations…

Chihiro gave up trying to pay attention. She pulled out her phone and considered texting Ayumi, but noticed the latter had gone to lala-land already, which just made it redundant. She was so bored she even considered taking her ruler and poking Otamega for the rest of the period.

Unfortunately, he was asleep too. His messy hair fanned out, giving him the appearance of a motionless porcupine. His glasses had fallen off at some time and were hanging close to the edge of his table, alongside his PFP.

A lightbulb flashed above her head, and a mischievous grin lit up her face… Using the ruler, she stretched and lifted up the glasses, sliding them into her hands. She knew Katsuragi would freak without his glasses, which would provide her with all the entertainment she would need for today.

For a few moments, she poked Otamega with a ruler, but he didn't stir at all. She groaned, but gave up trying to wake him. In any case, Maths would be over in a few minutes anyway. He was bound to wake up before then.

She brought the glasses to eye level and peered inside. Unsurprisingly, she discovered that Katsuragi was quite blind. He had that coming, considering he spent half his life in the dark with a screen a foot away from him.

She quickly looked side to side to see if anyone was paying attention, and as she expected, no one was. She quickly slipped the spectacles up her nose. Just as she expected, she could barely see a thing. All she could see was the blurry colour of the chairs and boards around her… it all sucked. Is that what it was like being Otamega?

As if the glasses had possessed her, her thoughts took a weird turn: 'he he he~ I am the Great Otamega. Bring me my PFP!' She laughed internally at how stupid that sounded, yet the thought of borrowing the PFP for a bit seemed more inviting by the second. Anything was more exciting than the guy by the board.

She was about to take off the glasses when Mobuko chimed from her desk as to why Otamega was in a girl's uniform. Chihiro stood up, her face flushed red; half in anger and half in embarrassment. She pulled of the glasses and threw them in the general direction of Katsuragi, where a small ouch was unheard over Chihiro's tantrum on how she looked nothing like the Otamega.

By now, the whole class was awake and staring at her, before she realised how noisy she had been. She sat down and breathed in and out slowly, trying to get the redness out of her ears.

It took a few moments for her to calm down, but soon, she was back to her normal, really bored self. She started clicking her mechanical pencil aimlessly, when Katsuragi, who had woken up some time during the commotion, turned around and glared at her. She blanched and slid down in her seat.

"Did you throw something at me?" he asked, sounding less angry than Chihiro expected. She apologized and turned away, which surprised Katsuragi. She usually put up more of a fight than that.

A few moments later, a paper hit Chihiro from above. She unfolded it, scanned it, and turned to a new shade of red she didn't know humans could become.

The bell rang and she hastily scrunched the note and grabbed her books to appear busy. He smirked at her, but left without another word, his glasses on his nose again.

She breathed a little sigh when he was gone, before uncrumpling the note.

"Thanks for giving my glasses back. Did you have fun with them?"

She threw it in her bag and stalked out of the classroom, face still red and hands in fists.

"Damn that guy!"

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**I hoped you enjoyed that. Please leave a review if you have anything to say. Also, I do take requests.**


	2. Kusunoki Kusaga

**Hi hi! I'm back again! Did anybody miss me? **

***crickets chirp***

**Eh, either way, I'm back with the second chapter of Damn that Guy!**

**This chapter is about Kusunoki Kusaga, our favourite Samurai girl. This particular chapter is actually based on Hinoki Kusaga's omake in the manga (106.5), where Hinoki uses her fearsome countdown to bully Kusunoki into... well... **

**There's no need to spoil the story already... Read on, if you're interested.**

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Keima Katsuragi was surprised to see a familiar face outside his house, with a bunch of flowers and a light blush on her cheeks. Keima considered turning around and walking back to school, but he was curious, for two reasons: This was the first time he had ever seen an event like this in real life, and the fact that it was Kusunoki Kusaga, who was possibly the scariest girl who went to Mai High Academy. He put his PFP in his pocket and walked over to her. Her face got even redder.

"So, what did you want?" he asked, even though the flowers were pretty obvious on their own. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, only to see him whip out the PFP and lean against the wall. Her eyes twitched in irritation, but she started talking.

"Katsuragi, these are for you," she shoved the flowers in front of his screen, causing him to sneeze from the pollen. He dusted the screen and put it back in his pocket. When he looked up, she was walking away, stiff-legged and faster than normal.

"Kusunoki-" he called, and she appeared right in front of him, cracking her knuckles, "-is that all…" He stopped dead when her fist was nearly in his face.

"Don't call me that," she muttered darkly. Keima backed up further into the wall and put his hands up in surrender. She backed away as well. Keima put his hands down and pushed up his glasses.

"So what is this about?" he motioned at the flowers. Her vicious expression fell and a small blush rose up her cheeks again. She fiddled with her fingers nervously.

"I-I guess I wanted to tell you…" Keima's eyebrow shot up. He stood up straight, which surprised the teenaged Samurai.

"You guess…" his voice booming and intimidating. Kusunoki nodded jerkily, "if you're so uncertain then go home. I have no use for 'I guess'." Kusunoki was nearly down the road when her older sister's countdown started in her head again. She hurried back to the Katsuragi house, where he was still waiting outside, engrossed in his game. She marched over as confidently as she could, and pulled the PFP out of his hand. He whined and tried half-heartedly to get it back.

"You're right, Katsuragi. I just wanted to tell you that… I like you." Her grip on his PFP slacked and he reached out easily and grabbed it. He walked into his yard and closed the gate behind him, leaving a surprised Kusunoki outside. She stuck her arm in the gate, trying to grab him, but he backed to a safer distance.

"That was better, but there's still room for improvement." He motioned her to wait and he ran inside to get something. By the time he returned, her face was a dangerous red colour, and her arms were clawing inside the gate, like a zombie. Keima gulped, but walked into the danger zone.

"I've got something for you as well," he passed through a few games and a spare PFP into her hands. She pulled them back onto her side, looking at the games curiously. Keima pushed up his glasses.

"I would particularly recommend playing 'One Leaf'. The confession in that was much more natural than yours. You could probably get some pointers from Yokyunn as well."

Kusunoki's face changed from curiosity to surprise to plain anger. She threw the 'One Leaf' box through the gate with enough precision to knock his retreating figure on the head.

"I refuse to take romance advice from a scribble like her!" she shouted, her voice laced with embarrassment. She stomped off, but she took the few other games and the PFP with her. Keima picked up the box and quickly and opened it to see if it was alright. He breathed a sigh of relief that the disk was in one piece. He walked inside to get a bandage and an aspirin for his head.

Kusunoki was three blocks away before she noticed she had a gaming console and games in her hands. His words played again in her head, and she screamed at the completely innocent boxes.

"I don't need any help confessing! Damn that guy!"

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**There you have it; my take on Kusunoki's confession. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, please leave a review if you have something to suggest or to just tell me that I suck and I should just stop writing.**

**Anyhoo, thank you to Verdakiel, who reviewed yesterday. I know this story isn't really that funny, but this story is more about way Keima rubs against the girls, which I consider quite amusing. I was trying to make these ficlets similarly to how the hunting breaks in the manga go, except more about the girls and less about the games. Of course, Keima and his games will get some bonding time when he isn't getting beat up or confessed to by other people.**

**That being said, the chapters do focus on the girls more, even if they aren't in their POV.**

**In any case, thank you for reading my story. As I said before, I do take requests, so If you have ideas but no idea how to put them down, I can try my hand at it.**

**Sir Sleeps-a-lot **


	3. Shiori Shiomiya

**Hi hi! I'm back again, and this time, I have Chapter Three of Damn that Guy! Starring...**

**Dun dun dun...**

**Shiori Shiomiya, our favourite cutie librarian who leaks moe wherever she goes.**

**That being said, enjoy the ride.**

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Shiori Shiomiya plopped on a cushion by foot of a tree, and sighed happily. It had been a pretty busy week, and this was the first time all week that she had gotten to sit down somewhere and just read peacefully. When she was comfortable, she opened to her bookmark and continued…

'Hikari flicked the switch of her flashlight, but nothing shone at all. She scowled at the innocent object, but it made no difference. She made a note to put new batteries when she got home… if she got home. She looked around nervously in the dark room. She got herself in a pinch which she was 90% certain she could not get herself out of. She gripped the flashlight: even though it was a useless light source, she was certain it would make a decent weapon.'

Shiori shivered slightly, remembering the previous chapter. She was fairly sure someone, or something, had been following Hikari as soon as she entered that building, and honestly, she was certain that Hikari wouldn't survive the night. Shiori gulped and continued…

'Hikari closed her eyes and hugged her legs to her chest. It did not bring any comfort, but just amplified the creaking sounds. Her eyes snapped open, but the only discernable object near her was the table legs which she was hiding nearby. She sat, dead still, until her eyes got used to the darkness. As she sat, the creaking sounds got louder and louder. She squeezed her eyes and willed herself to disappear into the wooden planks below her. No such luck… The creaking was nearly deafening her now. She could swear the crunching sounds were nearby her head.'

Shiori snapped herself out of the book, her heart pounding in anticipation. Still, she noticed the sky was getting darker. It was probably going to rain soon. She sighed, disappointed. She decided she'd finish the page then go indoors.

'She breathed a sigh and felt calmer. She could feel something heavy on her arm, so it probably knew of her existence. She tightened her grip on the flashlight and opened her eyes…

Shiori shrieked and toppled sideways. The body belonging to the arm that grabbed her also fell. She rubbed where her head where it banged on the ground, when she noticed a certain someone slumped on her lap, looking completely disorientated.

She squeaked and shoved the body off her with all her strength. He fell again, just as unceremoniously as before. She stood up, breathing heavily and holding onto her book for dear life. By then, the boy, Keima Katsuragi, who had been on the ground was now on his feet, pushing his glasses up his nose. Of course, that would have looked smarter, had his face not been covered in mud. She laughed quietly at the sight.

"You've got something on your face, Katsuragi-kun," she said, trying to hide her laughter. He quickly rubbed his face, but that didn't help much. Shiori started laughing even harder. He didn't take it so well.

"It started raining, so I wanted to call you inside. It was your fault this happened in the first place." He replied angrily, but Shiori really couldn't take him seriously. Her laughter got even louder. He scowled.

"Hikari didn't die. It turned out she ended up in some delusion of hers, and she wasn't even in that dark room." That shut her up. Keima smiled triumphantly. Shiori's face contorted with anger.

"I-I wasn't there yet, Baka!" she shook her hands, which had clenched themselves.

"Think about that next time to laugh at someone," he replied, walking out of the rain. She looked at the book in her hands, which was starting to get wet. Her jaw clenched, and she screamed into the rain.

"DAMN THAT GUY!"

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**Yeah, sorry Gamingguyunknown1. This chapter didn't really turn into her writing a book at all. **

**I do quite like that idea, so I'll probably keep it for another day.**

**So, as usual, Thank you to those who followed and favourited this story. Heck, thank you guys for just reading.**

**As Shiori says, books are meant for reading.**

**Keep reading, you guys. I'll see you in a couple of days. **


	4. Ayumi Takahara

**Hi**** again.**

**I'm back with the next chapter of Damn that Guy!**

**This time, it stars Ayumi Takahara, which was a character I was really looking forward to. **

**I dunno, maybe the girls in Class 2-B just rock.**

* * *

Ayumi was lost in her thoughts, when a certain noisy girl slammed her hand on the desk. Ayumi's arm slipped off the edge. She yelped loudly. Before she could scold the girl, the girl was already by the door.

"Ayumi-san, Please take care of my phone. I'll be back in a minute," Elsie shouted before she left the room.

Ayumi sighed and looked down. Sure enough, there was Elsie's pink phone, with the circular skull charm. She held the charm and stared at it, wondering where Elsie could have found a charm like that. It was so weird, yet strangely cute. She smiled: the charm suited Elsie.

For a few moments, she absently opened and closed the phone, listening to it trill each time. Man, was she bored…

She opened the phone and decided to browse through the pictures. She doubted Elsie would mind, considering that she usually took pictures during 2B Pencil events. Who knows, maybe there were some cute ones she could forward to herself.

She looked through a couple, but nothing really exciting. Until she came across a really funny one of Katsuragi getting sat on by some unidentifiable object. She laughed aloud and forwarded it to her phone. Honestly, that picture really needed context.

"Ayumi, what are you looking at?" a voice piped from behind her, and Ayumi jumped. She looked behind, and noticed her best friend, Chihiro, leaning over her chair. Ayumi held the phone out to show Chihiro the picture. Chihiro laughed out loud as well.

"Katsuragi looks ridiculous. What the hell is that thing on top of him?" Chihiro grabbed the phone to get a closer look. They both shot ideas at the identity of the monstrous gloop which was sitting on Katsuragi, but none of them were remotely correct.

Keima Katsuragi, who had been half listening at their conversation from his seat a few feet away piped in from behind his PFP.

"It's supposed to be a bentou," Both Ayumi and Chihiro looked up, startled. Keima was too busy clicking buttons to notice their surprise or slight embarrassment. Ayumi was the first one to compose herself.

"W-what do you mean bentou? That looks nothing like a bentou," Chihiro nodded her head quickly in agreement, but Keima shrugged.

"Yeah, it isn't really. Elsie just calls it that, even though it moves and is basically inedible." The two girls look at the picture, and sure enough, if looked through squinted eyes, the object resembled a lunch box, albeit four feet high and with eyes peeking out of the lid. Ayumi wondered how anything could be prepared like that.

Keima's stomach grumbled and Ayumi picked up the screen to face Keima. She smiled mischievously.

"Maybe you want to eat your bentou now," she teased, holding the phone out to him as a offering. Keima took his eyes off his PFP for the first time and looked at Ayumi, who looked away from his irritated glare.

"Or maybe I should make you something…" she said softly, her mouth running without her noticing. Her brain caught up with her words, and she turned bright red. Keima's harsh look fell, and even he was blushing slightly. He quickly returned to his game, avoiding Chihiro's suddenly amused eyes.

"Thank you, but no thanks. For both our reputations, it's best you only make bentous for yourself." Ayumi curled her hands into fists, and tried to keep herself from hitting that Galge-addicted jerk.

The bell indicating the end of break rang, and Elsie came running into the room. She took the phone back from Ayumi, and sat down. Chihiro and Ayumi went back to their respective seats as well.

A few minutes later, a paper plane hit Ayumi's head. She looked behind her to see Katsuragi looking at her. He motioned at the plane, which was on the floor by her seat. She picked it up and read it swiftly, only to chuck it at his head less than a minute later. The ruckus was enough to get them both sent out of the class.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Ayumi kicked him with a force unknown to most of humanity. Keima crashed into the floor a few feet away, cracking a few tiles in the process. She marched to him, her face red with rage and embarrassment.

"For your information, I am a great cook. Guess you'll never know, because you're a big fat jerk!" She kicked him again for good measure and stomped off elsewhere, her head steaming and her ears pink. She punched a wall, causing the plaster to crack.

"Damn that Guy!"

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**So there you have it, Keima's stuck in the floor and Ayumi is off in a huff. **

**This was what I wanted when I started these shorts.**

**Unfortunately, I've tried my hand at some of the other girls in the past two days, but I keep ending up with stuff I'm not happy with.**

**Honestly, I think my lack of good output has something to do with my position right now, namely exams. **

**Physics has been putting me in a pretty foul mood, so all my writing just ends up too serious and unfunny(not that I'm a really funny person normally), so for that reason, I'm going to take a break on updating this story.**

**My last exam is on the 11th of November, so hopefully I'll be back to my relaxed self by then and I'll start updating again.**

**In any case, thanks for supporting and liking my stories. I'm sorry I'm disappearing so quickly, but I'd rather churn out some nice stories than the crap which seems to be coming out now.**

**Sorry Maddox139, for the time being, the cavity-inducing Kanon story will have to wait. With any luck, she'll be next on my list.**


	5. Kanon Nakagawa

**Hey everyone. I'm back!**

**Exams were long and hard and boring, but now they're over, so I can get back to drooling over TWGOK for the next month.**

**Anyhoo, as promised, here is Kanon's chapter, which turned out to be helluva long. I hope you enjoy it.**

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Kanon rolled her pen across her desk and stretched up her arms above her head, yawning loudly. Her eyes slid up to the clock in the front. When she was that there was still another half an hour till the exam finished, she plopped her head down for some really needed sleep. Thankfully, she was a pro at sleeping in uncomfortable places. She pulled off her glasses and closed her eyes.

"Kanon…" a small voice whispered, shaking her shoulders, "Kanon… C'mon, please wake up. The test is over." Her eyes drifted open. Someone was standing by her, blocking the light from her face.

She sat up slowly and tried to get her bearing back. When she felt close to normal, she looked up at who woke her up.

"K-Keima-kun?" Kanon stood up suddenly, causing her legs to buckle and the chair to go cluttering down. Keima grabbed her arms before she fell and righted her. They stared at each other blankly for a moment before Keima cleared his throat and put his hands down, his face slightly red.

He pulled out his PFP and started clicking some buttons. The pinkness of his face subsided, so he continued, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Umm… Kanon… Can you… come eat lunch with me on the roof today?" Keima asked. Despite his staring at the screen, his face was starting to get pink again. Kanon, in turn, also started blushing… Was this actually happening? If this is a dream, the person who pinches her gets tased…

"Y-yeah…" she nodded, "though you can go up first. I'm going to buy some bread…" She laughed nervously and tried flattening that annoying lock of hair that refused to sit down, "not that it will take long. People always let me jump the line…"

She laughed nervously and sprinted out of the classroom, putting Roadrunner to shame. Keima sighed and walked up the stairwell, trying to calm his heart down. How was he going to get the nerve to tell her if he got so nervous with that?

Some time later, the two of them met up on the roof, and to Kanon's surprise, the place was empty, save the two of them. Her face heated up at the thought.

She shook her head and plopped down next to Keima, who was sitting with his head over the back of the bench, seemingly looking up at the sky. When he felt her presence, he looked up at her with a slight smile on his face.

"Today was an irritating test, wasn't it?" Keima pulled out his PFP from his blazer and put it on his lap with the screen down. Kanon nodded slightly, wondering if this was his idea of small talk. Keima seemed to be contemplating something, so Kanon didn't disturb him for a few moments.

Luckily, before the silence could get awkward, Keima looked her straight in the face, causing her to lean back slightly.

"Err… A-actually, Kanon… I had something I wanted to talk about…" Kanon held her breath in anticipation. Keima turned over his PFP, revealing the dating sim he was currently playing.

"T-the thing is… I've been playing your game… and I wanted to talk about it a little," she looked down at the screen, and sure enough, it was her face. Kanon breathed out, a little irritated. Is this all he wanted to talk about? Why did he sound so damn nervous? She thought he would… like… confe…

A cloud of heat left her face, leaving a beetroot with pink hair in its wake. She quickly shook her head, trying to get the blood to settle down. Luckily, he didn't notice her weird behaviour, because he continued to talk.

They kept on this thread for a few minutes until the bell for the next exam went. The two of them stood up, a bit saddened that their time together was up. Kanon was about to leave when someone grabbed onto her sleeve. She turned around to see a very determined looking Keima.

"The truth is… that I love you!" he half screamed. His face seemed to match her in redness when he let go of her sleeve and turned away. She leaned forward to hear his quiet voice.

"I guess… after playing this game, I realised that idols are the most appealing of girls. Slowly, I realised there was just a specific idol I liked… Someone with cute pink hair and a voice which could even leave me speechless…"

He looked up shyly at Kanon, realising they were sporting identical blushes.

"I know I'm a commoner who's just obsessed with games, while you're a Goddess of music, but could you give me a chance?" Kanon smiled as well, nodding in affirmative.

She had so much she wanted to tell him: Like how she had liked him since the first time they had met… Like how much his encouragement had meant to her… like how much she liked him back… Like how happy she felt now…

"Keima-kun… I… err…" she breathed in deeply, trying to calm down her nerves. When the words refused to come out, she just leaned forward, hoping to get the feelings across another way.

"Kanon-chan…" she twitched and sighed happily, "Kanon-chan, please wake up. The test is over now."

Kanon got up, rubbing her sleepy eyes. When she slipped her glasses on, she noticed someone was waiting by her desk, hand extended. She slipped her test paper to the girl and sighed. What happened to her beautiful confession?

She glanced towards Keima, who was packing his stuff away. She felt sick to her stomach. In fact, she just wanted to tase the crap out of everyone. Unrequited love sure sucked.

She started putting her pencil case away, when someone appeared by her desk.

"Kanon," a very familiar voice said, Kanon's head snapped up, Keima, the guy of her dreams, was leaning on her desk, which was putting her off. Also, the look in his face was one that could only be described as sly. Something was definitely off.

"Did you have a nice nap?" he asked innocently… Kanon stopped at her tracks, trying to not show anything… at least until he did.

"Not really. I've been pretty tired nowadays, so I wished that I could have slept longer." Kanon replied, trying to not reveal anything. He definitely was up to no good.

"Why? Did you miss a good part?" something was definitely off. Kanon tried to keep her cool, but the nervousness was not helping. Did this guy have some mind-reading ability or something?

"O-of course not. I'm just tired. I'm going home now." By now, the entire class had cleared off. There's no way she'd stay here now. She was getting way too nervous. She started walking away.

"I hate to break it to you, but you talk in your sleep." The voice came from behind her. Kanon's face became red from both embarrassment and anger, but mostly from the latter. She struggled to get her composure back.

"Yeah… It was a good dream. I was going to get to something good…" She stuck her hand into her bag, and faster than Keima could see, Kanon had a taser to his head.

"I think a little memory removal is in order," she muttered darkly as she turned on the voltage. She didn't stick around to see if it had worked.

Her little cats' claws flickered with electricity as she stalked off, her aura of evil scaring some students away. She paid little mind to that, as her mind was only focusing on her mantra.

"Damn that guy."

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**There you have it.**

**I'm glad that people have been reviewing these little, or not so little, shorts.**

**The thing is, I've been having some difficulty choosing ideas for some girls. If any of you guys have an idea of what you'd like to read, please just leave it in a review. That would be pretty helpful.**

**Anyway, thanks for the continued support, and I hope it will continue further.**


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